Headlines

These two looks the same in there fathers eyes......


Looking at the Mobile Press yesterday the front cover was a plethora of headlines.  They ranged from international incidents to local tragedies.  Oops! was one title that showed Nick Saban holding the National Championship Trophy.  Of course it was the headline for the father of the Alabama football player tripping and breaking the $30, 000 dollar trophy.  An in typical Alabama fan fashion, (no offense to my bammer friends) they quickly made it about them by coining the phrase "you can't go anywhere in Tuscaloosa without tripping over a national championship trophy"  They do have 750,000 you know.  Football strikes big emotions in this state, and trust me most folks would consider that front page news.  But it was not the one that made the most impact on me.  "Father Awaits Word on Fate of Jihadist Son" was the one that i found most intriguing.  In 2006 a young man from Daphne, Alabama joined the an al-Qaida linked group in Somalia.  He has sense over  the last couple of weeks made video footage of himself speaking English telling of the fear his own group was going to kill him.  I had little remorse for him in the fact that he had put his own country in jeopardy by providing information to known terrorists, then denounces his country to become a part of al-Qaida.  After reading the article, I had a little change of heart.  Hearing that farther talk of the fact that he did no t know if his son was dead or alive.... made me think.  I have kids and I love them immensely,  don't know how I could go on if they were to face the same fate as this young man.  I am sure his father would be just as devastated.  My heart went out to him.  I realized something right then and there kids make decisions that hurt there parents.  Whether it is drinking beer before legal age and getting caught or joining a terrorist organization, parents deal with disappointment everyday.  They deal with heartache that their children give them because they have the inherent skill of unconditional love.  This is really an amazing thing.  Husbands and wives fall out of love and friends sever heart strings forever,  but parents always love their kids.....regardless.  A man told me when they are young they step on your toes, and when they are old they step on your heart, but after each time you would let them do it again.  So true.  The decision that this young man made that might have cost him his life is definitely his own, but he is still someone's son and for that...... I pray he gets to see his dad again.

If You are Gonna be Stupid, You Better be Tough

My dad was a Baptist Minister.  He coached football early in life, but his calling was to pastor.  To this day I don't feel there was a man more called to the ministry than he was.  A man that truly lived what he taught.  I loved him greatly, however I am sure that there were many times that I disappointed.  My dad and I had many debates over many things, that often resulted in mom calling a time out and an agree to disagree.  It would get heated but we would never be mad, always knew we loved each other. He always used you try to get me to understand the value in trusting other people.  "Kyle,  he would say " I would rather live my life trusting and be let down, then not trust anyone and miss out".  I believe those to be great words.  I followed them.  I was screwed over a couple of times in jobs that I was in by "friends"  that I trusted and cost me those jobs.  That is when I learned another lesson taught to me by another man that I respect a lot.  A principal of mine named Carl Raley told me, "Kyle if you are gonna be stupid, you gotta be tough". Bobby Petrino could have used these words, Ozzie Guillen could ponder them, and trust me Kyle Davis has needed them repeated to him many a times.  What Raley was telling me was if I am gonna keep trusting and believing in the same types of  people I was gonna continue to get the same result.  Definition of stupidity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.  So if you are gonna keep getting the same result, you better develop a toughness that can handle it.  I think it is more of a man thing, and better yet a prideful man thing.  We think we got it all figured out.  We know everything.  Everybody is in it for the same reason we are, so we trust all aspects of the scenario.  Only to find in the end, people are for themselves.  Bobby thought those state police loved Arkansas football and him as much as he did to keep the chick under wraps. Stupid! We will see how tough he is.  Ozzie thought since Miami had that new ball park and the fan base was larger then ever he could complement Castro on such an outstanding job.  Yeah that fan base largely Cuban, like telling New Yorker's Osama Bin Laden was highly effective as a leader. Stupid!  We will see how tough he is.  Fact is call it arrogance, stubbornness, or stupidity we that live like this have developed a kind of choice pattern that leads us full circle back to where we started.  I can't tell you how many times I have been told I was a bad judge of character, bring people in my circle and.... bam..... yep another lesson in developing toughness.  It is not destructive behavior, it is just too much trust and belief in your fellow man.  A belief that they think like you and care for you and in the end nothing could be further from the truth.   All I can do is shake my head, but I am sure I will do it again.  I think it is good to trust, but I think it is better to be smart.  Folks that truly love us and we should be trusting suffer, much like watching a car crash bout to happen but can't do nothing to stop it.  They just pick up the pieces.  God love them for it.  Unfortunately I am tougher myself than I would like to be, generally speaking I have done my fair share of stupid stuff.  Trust me I would rather live by the way by dad described but maybe with a little more discretion. The goal for me, and folks like me, lets be a little more soft and lose a lot more "friends". I need to stop trusting and believing every word of the people that "trust" and pay a little more attention to their actions.  What is really being represented.  Who knows maybe it will make me a better person in the process, and who doesn't want to get better..........Trust Me!                                                           

The Truth Behind the Truth

This blog is going to get me in trouble.  My views that I am gonna express today are not gonna be shared by many of my friends and family.  For that I am gonna apologize in advance.  Bobby Petrino  is no longer the head football coach at the University of Arkansas.  I know there are tons of people out there saying, "yep he deserves it for his affair with a girl half his age".  Well I am going to tell you moral America, if you think that is why he is not the football coach at Arkansas this morning you are dead wrong.  I know we like to think that AD Jeff Long made the choice based on his moral dilemma with Petrino and his "innappropriate" relationship with the pretty 25 year old.  We like to think he was fired for lack of character and not representing the University in the manner that it should be, with integrity and moral standards.    WRONG!  Bobby Pertrino is not the football  coach this morning at Arkansas because he made the Jeff Long and the University look stupid.  He kept information from him, and caused him to look as if he had no control over his program.  You don't think that football in the south is bigger than an affair?  You don't think if Nick Saban was caught doing that, he would have received a slap on the wrist and go get us another crystal football.  The fact is had Petrino come out and told Long first thing, he would be giving his apology now instead of his exit speech.  I know we like to believe that morals and ethics carry a lot of weight, but bottom line in college sports it doesn't.  Football is bigger than some coaches affair, or DUI, or child sex abuse scandal.  What football is not bigger than is a man's ego (AD Jeff Long), or a losing coach with a DUI (lucky for Gary Pinkel he wins), or a prestigious Universities reputation (Sandusky=Penn State enough said).  Truth is this, we in America stand behind religion and morals and character and integrity when we can to garner some type of lime light.  When all the while most of the time it is nothing more than a smoke screen for the true reason.  You can bet Jeff Long will not be around long if Arkansas football starts loosing and boosters pull money and fund raising takes a dive.  I hope his ego is strong enough to get a coach better than Petrino.  My bet is at this point he can't.  I would make the argument that Rodger Goodell's punishment for the Saint's was more of a moral driven decision than to fire Bobby Petrino.  Should he be fired? Depends on what you think the role of a coach is?  Did he win? Yes.  Did he send players to the NFL? Yes.  Did he turn the program around , which is what he was hired to do? YES!  So based on that I say no he should not have.  Should a coach be more than wins and loses? I think at the high school level definitely, a little less in college, and not so much in the Pro's.  If he does not win games, are they going to fire him as well?  I mean are they gonna keep him around for just be a man of  "high moral character" if he goes 2-10 three years in a row?  UHH NO!  The truth is so much more complex than what most want to paint it in.  Coaches are hired in big time, high pressure situations for a lot of money and expected to perform.  Those that do thrive and those that don't get fired.  They are in the spot light all the time and their every action held under a microscope, which is why most would say the firing was deserved because their life is so public.  I mean morals and ethics are two different things that can be debated for ages.  Bottom line is Petrino is fired.  I just plore you to not jump on Jeff Long's high moral band wagon just yet.  Know this, had his ego not been bruised, many of you would be outraged!  That Bobby Petrino was STILL the head coach at the University of Arkansas.

Missing the Point

The last few weeks have been consumed with the Trayvon Martin story.  It is truly a sad event and you can not help but to feel for the parents of this young man.  Anytime a child dies before a parent it truly a tragedy, not natural.  And with the way in which he died, well it just makes the story just that much more saddening.  However with the events that have transpired following his death, we as Americans are truly missing the point.  It is not that a black youth was shot by a man that was not black for wearing a hoodie.  It is not a race thing.  That is not the point.  Do you know how many young people under the age of 25 were gunned down in  the last week, moth, year.  If it is one it is too many.  How many blacks have killed whites, or whites killed whites, or blacks killed blacks.  The other young people killed were someones son or daughter as well.  Someone loved them, and held them when they were children.  The point should be that there was another senseless death of a teenager, period.  What lessons are we teaching that we make it a race issue.  When black on black crime happens that is expected, but it is an outrage when a young black man is killed by another race?  Or the date rape of a white girl by a fraternity guy in college is "what she really wanted" but that same white girl is raped by a black male and now we want justice?  It is all bad.  Would Trayvon be a memorialized by anyone other than his family had he been shot by another black male?  He should be, but my guess is not.  Probably be chalked up to another gangster shot dead in the streets.  That scenario to me is no less tragic.  Why can we not teach the lesson that all human life is valuable.  That Trayvon's death is no more important than any other senseless death.  Race fuels the fire.  All it does is anger more.  We should be angry, angry that a young man was taken before he should have been, not because he was shot by someone other than his race and because he was wearing a hoodie.  Black panthers offering bounties, rallies for justice, wearing the hoodies in government sessions, these are all show.  Where are the bounties for all the young men killed by their own race.  Where are the rallies for justice for abused children, abused elderly, unborn children, the guy that works his whole life only to lose his pension because of the mismanagement of funds.  Why don't the assembly men where commo for all the troops that are still fighting for our country, or police uniforms to honor the policemen that put their life on the line everday, or just name badges that say JOE  to honor all American's in general who keep this country moving.  I agree that this is a horrible thing that has happened to Trayvon and his family, but why now?  Why this young man?  What about the countless ones before him?  All I want people to understand about this event, or any event that a young person dies from violence is be angry at the outcome, not the superficial circumstances.  Because in the end, all that remains for whatever reason, is a family have been broken and a life taken.  Had Trayvon had a Pistol instead of skittles, would your opinion of the situation change?  Mine wouldn't.